George Orwell once said: "At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves."
Except, of course, if the mask you're wearing fits exceedingly well and there's no need to remove it, then you can keep your compatriots suitably fooled as to the "real" you. Life is full of pretences and is the subject of this particular post.
Today, Thorolf is going to pretend that the world he normally inhabits doesn't actually exist and re-enter the domain he left a fair few years ago. I'm quite looking forward to this experience because I've heard rumours that it's not really changed all that much so in essence I should be able to adapt quite quickly.
First thing to do I suppose, is to scan the TV schedule for June 4th 2008 to embrace the delights of the contemporary mind-set. I have no wish to be the odd one out because I can tell you that it's not very comforting. Besides, I need to know what I've been missing.
Wow! I see the BBC has a cracking evening line-up. Who would have thought it?
Lets see. At 8pm, there's a programme called "WHO HAS REMEMBERED WHAT NOT TO WEAR?". Sounds absolutely wonderful because there are two "super-models" advising us that we can look fantastic in clothes no matter what our shape. This is a must-watch!
At 9pm, a programme called "THE APPRENTICE" follows. It's all about five candidates being interviewed for a job and asking who will progress to the next stage. Should be nail-biting stuff. Better get the popcorn in.
Over on ITV, there's more riveting viewing about bodies again. At 9pm, a lot of people strip off to take their place to form the shape of an inspirational British man and woman. I think I'll have to record this one because it clashes with "THE APPRENTICE". Aren't they devils, these programme schedulers? I'm sure they do it on purpose. Damn their eyes! Still, it is my first day back so I haven't really got any right to complain. A lot to look forward to, even so.
The next most important item on my agenda is to catch up with the "news". In my world, we are taught that most of it is manufactured and/or distorted for the consumption of the masses so I must forget all about that today. Everything that is pre-supposed from my world has to be dismissed if I am to adapt.
It transpires that Barack Obama has promised unwavering support for Israel and that it's security remains paramount to each other's interests. Mr Obama sounds an awfully nice man. I mean he didn't have to do that - the thought has come deep from within his own heart. What a kind and humanitarian soul he is. This is such a compassionate world after all. Where I come from, they are saying that the USA is run by jews and it is they who decide what the United States' foreign policy is about. They own the Federal Reserve and most of the financial institutions and they pick the President too. Not that I really care because in either of my worlds, anti-semitism doesn't raise it's ugly head. I think what they really mean is Zionism and they confuse the two most culpably. In either world, you don't necessarily have to be a Semite to be a Zionist.
Oh dear, Gordon Brown is in trouble again. He won't drop the higher road-tax on cars imposed on all vehicles manufactured since 2001. Poor man! Whatever he does, he is never popular with the British public. Cameron shouted at him today and said that if he didn't get rid of this latest idea, then the voters would get rid of him. I thought he was going to cry. He'd better think of something fast or Heaven help him, he will lose his job!
In my old world, the real reason proffered for this tax was because of a ruling from the EU. It was part of the Global Warming tax scam. Cameron is powerless to implement any change too but in order to give an air of democracy to the whole charade, it's in his interests to feign argument. Since entering this more mundane world, I realise that this view on events is total baloney.
My word, it's so great to be back. I no longer have to worry about the Media telling lies or to worry over politicians hoodwinking the populace. Everything is orderly and ship-shape and I'm starting to fit in very nicely. Obviously, it's my own fault - caused through an incessant yearning for truth and delving into the archives of alternative thought and having swallowed a bitter pill. The change will take a lot of getting used to but I don't mind. I'm safe and snugly cocooned in a world of celebrities and fantastic TV.
Pass me the sick bucket.